The Lord is „crazy” in His Love for Mankind

Jesus came to me so suddenly and so marvelously that he turned my whole world around, and my punk ideology – anarchy was my god – upside down

I ’m 22 years old, and I’d like to share the testimony of my life. I always had the reputation for being polite and intelligent as a boy. I was the best student in class, always pleasant and smiling. As time went by this diminished into only an illusion. I don’t even know at what point sin forced its way into my life. My early interest in erotic scenes on television and in magazines became an obsession. I was having impure thoughts more and more often. I looked lustfully at my friends. It was a nightmare! I had practically no twinge of conscience after the first time I masturbated. Then, I started doing it more often; every day, and even multiple times per day. I became a bundle of nerves and complexes, untrusting and egotistical. I went to Sunday mass only to hang out in front of the church with my friends.

Just before finishing high school I received a great grace from the Lord. I attended an end-of-highschool retreat (known as the Phillip course). I didn’t go willingly because I wanted to use the time to work and earn a little money and now I was going to have to hang out at some retreat. My friend and I actually bought some vodka, so that the retreat would be a “happy” experience, but we never got around to drinking it. As I look back on it today, I remember those three days of reflection like a dream – the most beautiful dream of my life. Jesus came to me so suddenly and marvelously that he turned my whole world around, and my punk ideology – anarchy was my god – upside down. When I accepted Him into my heart and surrendered my life to Him I was the happiest person on earth. “Jesus, you’re really there; You haven’t forgotten me, and You love me so much that tears are coming from my eyes…”. That was the start of my conversion. At the time I thought that the swamp of my erotomania was over, but after two months I fell back into it. But not long afterwards a copy of Love One Another! found its way to me. Thanks to this magazine, I found out what I had to do. Even so, I fell several more times. A great mistake was that I didn’t go right to confession immediately after falling into sin, and continued for some time in the sin instead. But today I’m free, which I consider to be a great miracle. I am certain that I owe it to the fact that I started turning myself back to the Father every time the impurity snuck back into my life. Now I see what Jesus can do! God is the one and only; the magnificent. Even if we did something unimaginable He will love us and wait for us.

In less than a month I will start my postulancy, then my novitiate and studies to prepare myself for the priesthood; that is, if it’s God’s will. The Lord is “crazy” in his love for mankind. He called a sinner like myself to follow Him. This is how Jesus trusts us! He trusts us without limit! And I trust in You, Lord. I trust in Your power and that whatever You leave undone in my heart now, You will finish when You call me to the postulancy, the novitiate, and the seminary…

Remember my beloved brothers and sisters, your soul is immortal – and don’t permit your flesh to dominate it. If you think that you don’t have a chance and that you won’t be able to hang on, you’re wrong. There is Someone stronger than you. Come and see how life looks in purity, joy, and peace of heart. Taste the greatest happiness – Jesus!