2019-46 Family life

“Free Love” – the Deadly Threat to Marital Love

Feb 13, 2019 Jacek Pulikowski

Sexuality in the mind of the Creator is a beautiful and wonderful place for conveying human life. One can say that it is the joint creation of a new person through cooperation between the parents and God.

God permits parents (trustingly and unguardedly) to cooperate with Him in the act of creating a new person who has an immortal soul from the moment of conception and thanks to it, will exist forever. The human person accepted into this creative activity attains the apogee of their being, because there is nothing more wonderful he can do in his life. Nonetheless, since a person has free will, he can make use of the gift of sexuality and the inseparable gift of fertility in an inappropriate way, thereby offending God. A person can (I don’t condone this, I only recognize the unhappy fact) act in the field of sexuality in a way that is a distortion and contradiction of its natural purpose. A person who dedicates him or herself to chastity (that is to say, to holiness) acts freely and rationally. Through rationality he or she recognizes what is good, and what is evil, and in an act of free will chooses good and rejects evil without regard to any possible “unprofitability” in the results of the choice (ultimately even at the cost of a life).

The sphere of sexuality which is not completely subject to the control of the mind and the will, or which is severed from this control begins to be driven (mindlessly and compulsively) by reactions of an instinctive nature. Then it becomes a powerfully destructive force. It can destroy the most promising career, and lead a person to ruin. Unbridled sexuality can completely destroy both a person’s worldly and eternal happiness and sow extraordinary devastation in his environment. It applies to a person in any of life’s callings, from marriage to ordination. It was no accident that the Mother of God in her pronouncements at Fatima said that most of the souls in hell are there because of sins of impurity.

A Gift from the Moment of Conception

In order to approach any subject one should provide at the outset at least a framework of the basic knowledge concerning the given issue. So we will start with an elaboration of the norms, a description of the orderliness of this delicate subject of sexuality. The child’s gender – whether male or female – is established at the moment of conception. The parents, siblings, and others closest to the child should not only rejoice in general at the child’s coming into being, but appropriately to the child’s gender. In raising a child, one should help him or her to accept his or her gender along with its biological consequences and social functions. A boy from the beginning should be accepted as a future father and be prepared for this role. His upbringing should be accompanied by a certain pride in being a male and gradual preparation for taking responsibility for himself and others along with devoting himself to the well-being of persons entrusted to his care. Practical lessons in taking responsibility for the results of his actions should be an important element of his upbringing. Personally, I think that the greatest deficit in the world, which in fact threatens its very existence, is the dramatic lack of male responsibility.

Girls should be treated with respect as future mothers. They should be raised and prepared for “mothering” in life. A feeling of their own dignity as future mothers should be developed in girls from their earliest childhood. Self-respect and expecting respect from others (without putting on airs) should become the obvious, second nature of a woman in the earliest years. It is very important that in the area of caring for others, girls become accustomed to being especially concerned for the small, the poor, the sick, the desolate, the needy. In other words, they should be prepared for motherhood. Women suffer the greatest life tragedies when they resign not only from physical motherhood, but when they also throw off all characteristics of maternity and strip away the genius of womanhood, all for the sake of a career. They become like men. They find themselves quite satisfied with themselves, even proud. But this doesn’t change the fact that they are objectively deeply unhappy… without even understanding why. They have abandoned nature, the wise plan of the Creator. God truly knows better than we do ourselves what is really good for us.

The first answer to the eternal question of where children come from should be: from love. This is the truest and most correct answer, because it pertains to the very being of the person

We cannot cheat nature. Women should “mother” and men should “father” in the most favorable meanings of these words. Let’s hope it becomes the subject of the most important dreams of girls and boys. This is also why the games of boys and girls should be deliberately differentiated to accustom children to their future life roles and to awaken an interest in them to be the best and most tender mother, or the most fantastic and bravest father possible. Particularly important in their upbringing is an attractive example of parents who love each other and fulfill their distinctive roles. Unfortunately, the examples of mothers and fathers in the home don’t always attract and encourage children to marriage and parenthood.

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