True love is a desire and action that aims for the other person’s good. The greatest good for man is a total belonging to God – the only source of love. Only God guarantees that “love never ends”. (1 Corinthians 13:8),
Lord Jesus explained to the mystic Alicja Lenczewska (1934 – 2012) that to love people “does not mean to experience states of emotional joy because they have satisfied your desires. To love people means to provide them with a goodness that leads them to heaven, regardless of the feelings and emotions that arise in your heart.” (A Word of Instruction, 170)
Every human being belongs to God and, therefore, has infinite dignity and value. You can not treat her or him as you treat things. “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are beneficial. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything … The body is meant not for fornication but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Should I, therefore, take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!” (1 Corinthians 6:12-13, 15)
Asceticism is needed because it leads to the right choices. To choose that which has true value
Sins of impurity, that is premarital or free union (fornication) and extramarital sex (adultery), masturbation, pornography, sexual perversions, polygamy, the use of contraceptive devises, homosexual acts and all other activities aimed at experiencing sex outside of sacramental marriage, inflict terrible suffering on Christ, because these sinful practices kill true love, deepen selfishness and submit man to the power of evil.
True love engages the whole person in the spiritual, biological, psychological and emotional spheres. Pure love brings only good, it never enslaves, but rather brings freedom.
Therefore, a person who has control over his or her feelings and senses, who is their own master, is capable of love, of selfless giving.
Such a person does not succumb to lust and does not begin sexual life before receiving the sacrament of marriage, because he or she is aware that only Jesus Christ, who is present in the sacrament of marriage, gives the right to this most intimate union. When the husband and wife are in the state of sanctifying grace, their marital act becomes a sacramental sign of the presence of Christ, the source of their mutual sanctification and a participation in the life and love of the Holy Trinity. God wants sex to be an expression of marital love and to facilitate the transmission of life. Therefore, it should only take place within the sacrament of marriage.
When preparing for marriage, girls should remember that their need for closeness and tenderness is often misinterpreted by boys as an invitation to sex. In such situations, the boy should behave like a knight who defends his beloved girlfriend, first against his own selfishness and also against the selfishness of others.
Sexuality involves the whole person, both the human body and soul. We need to learn to control our sex drive with reason and will, subordinating it to moral norms and to the demands posed by love. For this purpose, daily asceticism is necessary.
The mystic, Alicja Lenczewska, wrote down these words of Jesus: “To be a wise man, you have to live in asceticism. Wisdom is above goodness, because a wise man will always choose good and things which lead to the highest Good – to Love. Because I have made man my son, I do not want to treat him as a slave or an object. I made him my partner in love, and therefore completely free in making choices. Love must be a completely free gift. Otherwise, it is not love. That is why the world in which I placed man provides ideal conditions for everyone to make choices, at every stage of their development. Sin is a mistake in choosing, which is mostly caused by foolishness. But it is also a fault, because foolishness is the result of negligence. Foolishness and neglect encourage one another and separate one from Wisdom and Love – from God. Asceticism is needed because it leads to the right choices. To choose that which has true value. It embraces all spheres of life:
– thoughts, feelings and will – that is, all the aspects of the soul,
– desires of the body, all the senses and the biological organism.
Asceticism is not there to torment man, but to help him choose a higher good, dictated by love. Love demands deeds, and doing them fills him with joy and peace. There is no choice without an alternative. Hence there is evil and good, and human life runs between the two. It is up to you which side you will be on.” (A Word of Instruction, 118)